BZZZZZT BZZZZZZZZZZT
An incoming call awakes me from a deep slumber. With blurry eyes, I check to see who’s calling and the time.
***Call from: Coworker***
8:14am.
“Hello?”
“Hey boss… I have a situation here…”
It’s too early for this.
“What’s up” I say while barely being able to exist.
“So uh… there’s a baked man in property.”
Ah, another one of those.
“Okay… how did he get in”
“I allowed him in…” she says regretfully.
“I… see” I say, lacking the mental power to process or react to that information “Have you called the cops yet?”
“Yes” She replies confidently
“Okay, awesome, keep me posted” I reply
“Ok, will do!” she replies and hangs up
Another job well done! I say to myself and head back to bed.
BZZZZT BZZZZZZZT
9:24
Ohboy.
“HEY, CAN YOU PLEASE CHECK YOUR EMAIL AND EXPLAIN WHAT’S GOING ON!!!” A different, louder voice yells through the phone.
It’s still TOO early. Especially for THIS.
“No, let me check.” I can’t dare ask who this is.
I open gmail and see the following subject line: “NAKED MAN BREAKS IN TO APARTMENT WITH INTENT TO HARASS” (I gotta learn to write THOSE types of subject lines)
Oh.
Ohno.
I quickly recall the “Baked” man from an hour ago and realize…
She didn’t say baked, she said NAKED.
“Okay, I’m on my way” I say to the mysterious lady on the phone.
I get ready to rush my way there when…
BZZZZT BZZZZZZZT
Whocoulditbenow
“Hey! It’s Joe from insurance, just reminding you about today’s car pickup for inspection!” Says a friendly voice “What’s the clearance height on your garage”
My heart stops. There’s a towing scheduled for my flooded car today. If I miss this I’m back to the endless insurance line.
“O-Ok, I’ll be here” I reply. “The garage clearance is 6 to 8 inches”
“Cool, we’ll send a tow truck your way. Hang tight!” Says the man before hanging up
I call my boss to let her know and remember…
…She’s on vacation…
MEANING that the person who called me is…
The one above my boss.
It’s looking like I’m headed towards the firing line…
But hey… The towing can’t take THAT long!
I let the gigaboss know and she replies with a “Ok, but hurry up..”
3 HOURS LATER
BZZZZZZZZZT BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
“Hey… the tow truck is here” Says the lady at the guardhouse. “Please come down”
I run down and see A FULL SIZED SEMI TRUCK WITH A FLATBED.
Ohno.
The driver greets me and asks where the garage is.
“It’s there, but that truck is NOT going in.” I say
“What do you mean” he says confused “isnt the clearance 628 feet?”
My brain stops. There’s no way Joe the friendly insurance man, turned “6 to 8 feet” into “628 feet.”
Upon further inquiry, it seemed that insurance had messed up, and there was no way to fix it, so he left.
4 HOURS AND 2 WRONG TOW TRUCKS LATER
BZZZZZZZZT BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
"H-Hello?” I say feafully
“WHERE. ARE. YOU?” Gigaboss is on the line again.
“Loading my car into the 4th tow truck.” I reply
“STILL???? IT’S BEEN 7 HOURS.” She says
“Long story.” I reply with what’s left of my sanity.
“But I’ll be there.”
7:24.
I’m headed to the wage cage to figure out that whole Naked Man situation.
But when I get there…
The camera computer is SOMEHOW BROKEN.
So now we can’t review cameras until it’s fixed.
…Sigh…
What a waste of a good Saturday…
12 Hours later, I’m home writing this email to you.
But hey! At least I get to use it as a 700 word email fodder as consolation.
And YOU get to hear this FANTASTIC song.
None other than by Fred V (ANOTHER British Creature), this one is a Liquid Drum & Bass MASTERPIECE.
Something about the ambiance and sounds makes this an instant must listen.
It’s euphoric, melodic, and immaculate. As if you’re drifting through space, floating at high speeds while everything moves around you.
Highly recommended.
Njoy
Genre: Euphoric Drum & Bass
Always Forward
Hz
P.S. This is probably the longest email I’ve sent.
I hope to have made it as entertaining to read as it was to write. If not, kindly tell me to PISS OFF and stick to the simple song reviews below
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