A couple of months ago, a terrible incident happened while I was on my way to the library.
As I'm driving down the road, I notice something on my window.
It’s big…
It’s getting closer
And it’s… moving in my window?!
I quickly turn and see a HUGE grey spider crawling around.
Fun Hz fact: He H.A.T.E.S spiders (especially BIG, colorful ones). People who find them cute are mentally ill and should probably get their amygdalas checked.
Out of reaction, I started shaking off the spider by driving faster and swerving in the empty road...
The spider was unfazed, even going as far as lifting its legs up in triumph.
Soon enough, I’m arriving at the library with the equivalent of a face hugger from the Alien movies.
I snapped the spider using Google Lens and discovered it was a wolf spider. Very poisonous and fast.
That's when the hostage situation with this 8 legged menace began.
"But HZ, can't you just escape through the passenger side?"
No. I don’t want to come back to a spider hive. I must physically see the spider leave.
So I had 2 options: wait and hope for it to get off the door and go to the nearby bushes…
Or defeat it from inside the car.
I waited 10 minutes for the spider to move and build a new home to terrorize library goers…
But it just crawled up and down the window, looking for an entrance.
It’s time for plan B.
I look away for 5 seconds to find a ruler inside my bag. “This should work” I say to myself confidently.
But when I look back at the window…
The spider is gone.
Ohno.
I roll down the window to check where the critter is…
And see the spider SPRINT UP the window to enter the car.
I frantically roll up the window and close it right before the spider breaks in.
Things are looking dire. I've been hostage for 30 minutes already. I’m ready to set myself on fire and blow up the car to ensure the spider disappears.
As I find a way to make my car explode from the inside, I see the vile creature crawl inside the rear mirror.
"Perfect" I say, "this will get it" and move the mirror in all sorts of directions to crush it. (I won’t apologize for this language. Spiders are NOT friends.)
I see it struggle a bit and then nothing happens for the next 3 minutes.
Is that it?
Is the reign of terror over?
Is the death spider gone?
Am I finally free from this one sided hostage negotiation?
I roll down the window again and poke the rear mirror with the ruler to finish off the beast.
But the moment I touch the mirror…
The creature crawls out of the mirror in a rush…
Jumps ONTOP OF THE RULER…
AND STARTS MAKING A RUN FOR MY HAND.
I instantly drop the ruler and roll up the window in absolute fear. Just like that I’ve been unarmed.
Some deep breaths later I muster the courage to roll down the window and see if the spider died crushed from the fall…
But the spider isn't done yet.
No sir.
It has a mission and nothing will stop it.
It starts crawling up and gets back to the window. It sits there for another minute and starts making a spider web in the window.
Is it trying to trap me in here more than I already am??
At this point it's been 50 minutes, and this spider has no intentions of letting me escape.
Time for negotiations.
I start hitting my window as to communicate via signals. But it seems I said a curse word because that only pissed it off more.
It lifts up its legs again (which apparently means it’s ready for an attack) and…
BANG
Something hits my window.
It’s…
a book?
The terrorist spider’s carcass sticks to the window like a pancake. I’m still processing the fact someone threw a book at the car.
I open the door closely, fearful that the spider may have 8 lives and will revive with a revenge.
“Hey dude are you okay?” asks the legendary librarian hero. “I saw that you’ve been in that car for a long time and saw that huge spider.”
“Oh… haha… yeah… thanks” I say.
The hostage situation wasn’t as lowkey as I wished it was…
Haven’t gone to that library ever since. It doesn’t sound good to be the “held hostage by a spider” dude.
What sounds good however, is today's song.
While I absolutely hate spiders, this song ABOUT spiders is absolutely hilarious - and good.
Listen closely to the lyrics for a fun time. But don’t look up the source video if you hate spiders. No matter how funny it is.
It’s once again in the Electro House genre, which makes this a relic in its own right.
The heavy beats mixed with a groovy melody will take you back to those good old days that everyone -me included - yaps about so much.
In any case.
Njoy
Genre: Electro House
Always Hostage Forward
Hz
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