"Bro you HAVE to try this"

I look at where Hyperoxia is pointing at in the digital menu.

It’s a milkshake.

Right before I order I do a double take on the screen.

1,000 calories.

"Get the small one though." Says hyperoxia.

Ah, my bad. Only 800 calories for that one.

We were just fresh off killing a 20 slider box from White Castle (which was mid)

After how much he hyped up White Castle I was wary of this next selection.

But at the same time he had been telling me about this for months.

So I placed the order we went sit down.

Now this place looks like a diner from the 60's.

It has the old school hand drawn paintings, the old school look, and even a picture showing the first ever location.

(It was a food cart selling hot dogs.)

A couple minutes pass when the loudspeaker comes on.

"Number 33. Number 33 please come pick up your order."

I waddle over the counter to pick up the milkshakes.

And that’s where the first red flag appears.

The straws are HUGE.

I'm talking vacuum sized. Half an inch wide.

Then I pick up the shakes.

They’re both HEAVY.

What in the world am I about to drink?

I waddle back to the table and hand Hyperoxia his milkshake.

He immediately stares at me dead in the eye and goes:

And starts sucking on the straw.

I start using the straw as well.

But nothing comes up even after 5 seconds.

So I try harder.

Nothing.

I start going VACCUM mode, doing tricks on it…

And nothing comes out.

I open the lid to see what type of concrete they gave me.

"Ayo how THICK is this thing?" I ask Hyperoxia

"Just keep going man" says the man who is STILL sucking on the mf straw with no luck.

"aight then."

So back I go to trying to extract this "milkshake"

And just as I’m about to give up a bit of milkshake hits the first tower.

Shortly after another piece of food hits the second tower.

Something... chewy?

I look at hyperoxia with confusion and he starts to laugh.

Whatthehellamidrinking.jpeg.

I take another sip and get hit with both milkshake and foreign ingredient.

Except this time I can taste it better.

It tastes like frosting.

“Ayo bro what is this?”

“Cake.” He says while looking right into my soul. “It’s chocolate cake.”

“what.”

“Yeah, they just throw a whole slice of cake into the shake and call it a day!”

So that’s where the 800 calories come from huh…

Well, too late to quit now right?

It took us both 20 minutes to finish the mf shakes.

There were a lot of breaks in between because my heart was NOT taking kindly to this calorie nuke.

All in all it was a 7/10. The flavor was good but adding CHOCOLATE CAKE to a CHOCOLATE milkshake is…

More evidence that America ain’t beating the obesity crisis allegations.

Now at this point you may be wondering what the hell is wrong with this newsletter.

Yesterday it became a psych column.

Today it sounds like food review.

Where’s the music?

At the bottom of the email. Where it will always be.

So what is the point of sharing this silly story about yet another milkshake?

That just as music can decorate the amazing experiences experiences in your life…

It’s the little silly moments from new experiences that build stories you can share with others.

But if you REALLY want a lesson to come out of this:

Do random and new things just for the hell of it.

Of course, be smart about it. Don’t start jumping out of planes without parachutes.

As much as it sounds like I’m a hopeless milkshake addict.

It’s more like a once a month treat. And that’s all it has to be.

Nuff rambling.

Today’s song comes from German Gremlin Schrotthagen.

In his bio he says “Hello, this is Schrotthagen and here you’ll find cinematic techno. In our everyday life, we are film composers. Here, we tell stories without pictures. Spread love <3”

And that’s the same energy you can carry through life. One of a story maker.

Of course, this song sounds like a dystopian world where people are forced to drink cake shakes for breakfast.

The sound is gritty and dark. Full on warehouse energy.

It’s something different in the techno world and one I invite you to experience.

Njoy.

Genre: What it felt like to process 800 calories with 50 grams of sugar. (Average American meal)

Hz

P.S. There was no death from yesterday’s Ice Cream Van shake. Yours trashy gets to live another day.

P.P.S The perplexity training has been complete. Now it’s finally time to save 5 minutes and use them to uh… Make emails longer.

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